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But, I’m an Accountant

So, one of my friends recently posted this quote on her facebook wall.  I think it might change my life a little bit.
“He explains to me that I’m looking at motherhood as math — doing x + y = z — when it’s not math. It’s music. There’s no correct equation for doing it right. There are infinite combinations of notes that will lead to an artful outcome.” ~postpartumprogress.com
There’s a chance that I have an accounting degree.  And by chance, I mean a 100% chance.  I like math.  I like black & white.  I like that 2 + 2 will ALWAYS = 4.  Love it, in fact.  That’s easy.  You can’t go wrong.  You know that if you have 2 blizzards and you get 2 more blizzards you are now the lucky owner of 4 blizzards!  (Oh, and you’re also going to be sick.)
This whole time I’ve been living my life like everything works like math.  And, for me, seeing as I got paid to do math, a lot of my life did in fact work like math.
THEN I BECAME A MOM.
It’s like somehow math has ceased to exist.  Apparently when children are born they don’t understand equations.  If I feed you, play with you, and give you naps then you should not be screaming for hours.  If I put your pj’s on you, brush your teeth, read you books, sing you songs, and tuck you in bed then you should not get up 18 times (and you should definitely not get up in the middle of the night).  If I give you the applesauce you asked for then you should not throw it on the ground.  I could go on and on, but lets suffice it to say that math does not work well in my house with a 2 year old and 4 year old.  Ugh.
Music is hard, folks.  It sounds different to different people.  Do I play this part loud or quiet?  Is this part slow and gentle or fast and strong?  So many options.  Too many.   Oh, wait, it’s supposed to sound different with different kids?  It’s not supposed to always be the same 4 notes.  Yep, yep, that would get on my nerves.  Like how the beginning of a dvd repeats itself over and over and I want to pull my hair out.
Maybe if I stopped looking at my girls as math equations this whole mom thing might not feel so impossible.  God is definitely going to have his work cut out for him with me.  How can he make me, a math girl, into a musical, artistic mom?
I wanna be a music mom, not a math mom.  Only Jesus changes hearts and I’m praying he’ll change mine.   (But, I’m secretly still equating and hoping math fits in somewhere too …1 H song + 1 L song = 1 grateful mom, right?)
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How do you live life, through math or music?
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One response »

  1. This is profound, but remember that God was the one who wired you and he doesn’t make mistakes.

    Reply

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