I’m hoping for a Christmas miracle. We already got snow, so I’m hoping that we’re in for a few more miracles since they’ve started so early.
I just want to publicly confess my tensions rising as Christmas draws nearer and nearer. I love it. I couldn’t be more excited. I’m pretty much a 5 year old on the inside. However, I also feel like it’s a bit of a ginormous freight train headed right for me and I’m powerless to stop it. ha That might even be a bit of an understatement. hehe *wicked giggle*
5 days of multiple big family events. The pressure of opening gifts in front of people. The pressure of giving gifts in front of people. The pressure of sharing food that I cooked/baked. The pressure of my children’s reactions and behaviors. The pressure of being away from my house and my routine. I feel like I’m about to be hit by a train or better yet, trapped in a pressure cooker.
I’m going to go ahead and spare myself and you all the awkwardness. My children will melt down. My children will awkwardly ask for more presents. My children will not like what you got them, or they’ll like what you got their sister more. My children will make a mess or break something. My children will act their age, which, as of tomorrow, will be 3 and 4, and as of Christmas, will be 3 and 5. Yep, I’m going to remind you that not only is it Christmas, but also their birthdays. My children will not say thank you. They will forget your name. They will certainly embarrass me and maybe you too. But to be fair, I’m probably going to embarrass myself too. I’ll forget your name. I won’t like what you got me. You won’t like what I got you. Or, I’ll have forgotten to buy you a present. You won’t like my food. You won’t like something.
There. It’s over. The awkwardness is over. The tension over waiting for it to come is over. It’s inevitable anyways, there is no perfect Christmas. There are no perfect children. There are no perfect family events. There are no perfect cousins, aunts, uncles, grandmas, grandpas, nieces, nephews, spouses, siblings, etc., etc.
I’ve taken the pressure off. Unplug the stupid pressure cooker. Now that I have reminded myself that my desire for a perfect event and my unrealistic expectations is ridiculous I feel better. Maybe I can actually enjoy the holidays, my children, and the family events.
Afterall, it’s really not about the stuff, the beauty of my children, the pressure on the family events, it’s about baby Jesus. And who doesn’t love a baby? Especially a baby that is Jesus. Nothing beats being unconditionally loved, accepted, wanted, treasured, gifts poured out on, an always available shoulder and lap, the pressure taken off, fought for, and made new. Everything on my list.
Wouldn’t that be great? To still be singing when the evening comes. To know that we survived Christmas and actually enjoyed it and felt loved and fought for. I think for me the goal is going to be singing His song this Christmas and not my own. Thank goodness for baby Jesus. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll sing like never before on this Christmas.
It is, afterall, a birthday party. Happy Birthday, baby Jesus!
And Hannah Grace. (Dec 25)
And Leah Noel (Dec 21)