Germs, TV, and the Good Mom/Bad Mom Debate

Well, its been a while.  😦  I’ve had sick kids.  I’m not exactly a germiphobe, which means we go out and we don’t really limit where we go and who we see, even during flu season.  I figure my little Banana is in preschool and exposed to all kinds of germs.  Besides, they’re going to have really strong immune systems if we keep this up.  I know.  I know.  I’m probably a bad mom because I don’t use hand sanitizer daily, I take my kids to the grocery store (never did use that cart cover), and I send my oldest to preschool.  *gasp*  Lets hope it pays off when they’re teenagers and rarely sick.  ha  For now, we’re sick a lot and go to the doctor frequently and even take meds.

Some days I feel bad.  I could be a better mom.  I certainly have room for improvement.  But then I started having some interesting conversations in my head and then out loud with friends and came to some good conclusions.  I’m not a bad mom just because my kids are sick.  I’m not a bad mom because I don’t use hand sanitizer.  I’m not a bad mom because my kids go to preschool and will go public school.

Sadly for the self-righteous part of me, it works the other way too.  I’m not a good mom because of what my girls do or don’t eat.  I’m not a good mom because we eat organic this or that.  I’m not a good mom because I try to avoid artificial colors and additives.  I’m not a good mom because my girls have been to the American Girl store.  I’m not a good mom because I let them wear tutu’s out of the house.  I’m not a good mom because I breastfed.  It’s a good thing too because I only was able to breastfeed one of my girls.  And shoot me now if I’m only a good mom to one and not the other.

You see if certain things define me as a good mom, then what happens on days when I don’t do those “good” things?  ha  Well there’s the million dollar question.  Truth is, sometimes it wrecks me.  I feel like a failure.  My little Bear ran a fever all day yesterday and didn’t eat hardly a thing.  Well, the only thing I had on hand was **gasp** Gatorade.  So, if my being a good mom is determined based on my girls not getting artificial dyes then I was a failure yesterday.  Now I’m logical enough to see that giving my daughter Gatorade when she’s sick doesn’t make me a bad mom.  But, what about other things…you know more important things like whether or not to send a 3 year old to preschool or which preschool.  Now those are really big decisions, right, *sarcasm* I mean preschool will make or break her entire educational path.

Alright alright, maybe what I’m saying is that I (and probably you too) spend entirely too much time weighing and debating each and every decision we make and their consequences.  Maybe we spend way too much time on a guilt trip and wandering in the land of good mom/bad mom.

I love my girls.  I strive to make the best decisions that I can for them.  I spend time with them, I feed them, I make sure their needs are met.  I don’t always sit down and play with them like I should, I sometime let them watch waaaayyyyy toooooooo much TV, I don’t always listen to them when I’m trying to get too many other things done, and I tell them they look goofy when their clothes are too mismatched for me to handle, and some days I spend most of the day waiting for them to go to bed so I can watch Downton on the couch in the quiet with Husband.

The truth is I have strengths and weaknesses.  The truth is I love my girls.  The truth is I have good days and bad days and so do my girls.  The truth is God loves me all the time no matter what.  The truth is that labels get me in trouble.  As my pastor preached about a couple weeks ago I’m going to try to lead out with truth and let my emotions follows instead of letting my emotions lead the train…because all that makes is a train wreck.


What label is the hardest for you to get past?