The Facebook Effect

We had a snow day yesterday.  And today.  We did and made some really fun things yesterday and I have high hopes for today as well.  The problem is the facebook effect.  I feel like I need to get my phone and snap a pic and update facebook every time I do something great.  Facebook makes it totally okay for me to brag.  I mean seriously, if we had real conversations the way we do facebook conversations we would probably have a lot less conversations because no one could tolerate us.

I think facebook has tainted the way I interact with my girls and Husband.  I do things for the sake of the picture and the status.  I think I have lost some of my ability to just enjoy the experience and be grateful for the opportunity because in the back of my mind I’m busy planning the facebook status and picture album.

My 30 day facebook fast is over, but it still has a pretty profound effect on me.  I rarely check facebook.  I unfollowed a lot people so even when I do check facebook it takes me a whole lot less time.  And I actually like it this way.  Sometimes I think about checking facebook and honestly, I just don’t want to.  Can you even believe that??  I literally don’t want to check facebook.  ha  I really thought “those people” were crazy.  I mean, c’mon, people without facebook accounts.  Losers.  That was surely the only explanation.

One thing hasn’t changed in regards to my facebook habits.  I still want the attention.  Lame, I know.  I still want to post things on facebook simply to get the affirmation and attention.  Those comments really drive me.  Yep, I need attention and affirmation.  On the inside, I’m pretty much a 5 year old saying, “Watch me!  Look at me me!  See what I can do!”.

So how do I answer my heart question.  My heart longs to be known and adored.  I think that we all have that same need.  And I’m pretty sure God put it there for a reason.  Am I good enough, cool enough, a good enough cook, a good enough crafter, a good enough picture taker, a good enough wife and mom even if no one else sees what I do?  Is it enough to have the experiences and the thanks of my girls and Husband?  Is it enough for me to be pleased with myself and to know that I’m doing what God asked me to do and created me to do?  Or do I still need facebook and outside affirmation?  Welllllllll, obviously, the right answer is that I should be completely satisfied in God and that my own satisfaction and the thanks (which c’mon is hit or miss) from the girls and Husband should be more than enough affirmation.  But sometimes the right answer isn’t the true answer.  Acknowledgement is the first step right??

How do I (and you) balance sharing our lives, via facebook, pinterest, blogs, etc, with not looking to the online world to fulfill our need for acceptance and affirmation?  Because the truth is that facebook will never satisfy any need I have.  And yet, some days I still wish it would.  It takes a whole lot less effort than actually having real relationship with God and the people in my life.  Relationships where I have to share the good and the bad and where I have to listen and not just talk and where I can’t just shut it down or log off when it’s not going my way.

And the irony is that I have set up my blog to automatically post to my facebook and chances are that I won’t change that.  So at the end of the day, I’m still using facebook.  But, hopefully it won’t be where I find my acceptance and affirmation.  That’s Jesus’ job.

PS – I still really want to share what all we did and made yesterday because it was super delicious and super fun.  But I won’t.  I’ll refrain.  But hopefully if I have a real relationship with you I’ll get a chance to share it.  It may be an awkward facebook moment of sharing, but hopefully you’ll have grace on me for it!


Why do you use facebook?



One thought on “The Facebook Effect

  1. I use facebook in the same way you described. Way to nail my conflicted feelings on the whole phenomenon. I think I may be writing my thoughts on this in my blog soon. You gave me some things to think about.


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