Husband and I were talking the other night about how hard this adoption thing is. So.many.decisions. We are so limited right now, are we even supposed to do this? Where from? What agency? What program? Boy or girl? How to pay for it? If a boy, then we have to move. How in the world is that even an option? So much work. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh
Whine. Whine. Whine. We thought we would just get pregnant and have a baby the old-fashioned way. (Still super glad I’m not pregnant, but for real, would have made this third child thing pretty easy.)
Whine. Whine. Whine. Why in the world do we feel like we’re supposed to have 3 kids if we didn’t get pregnant? Why have I always wanted to adopt if it’s going to be IMPOSSIBLE?
Whine. Whine. Whine. I can hardly handle the 2 kids we already have. Am I crazy for thinking someone will give me another one?
Whine. Whine. Whine. Too much work. Too hard. Forget it. We’re not adopting. Decision made.
Then I read my stupid (I mean, awesome) YouVersion plan. Exodus. Lame. It’s like being in Redemption Group all over again.
Bricks without straw. Are you kidding me? How in the world can we make bricks without straw? Um, well, we sure didn’t make a baby the easy way, so it looks like we’re gonna go the without straw route. What the hay (haha pun intended) am I talking about? Well you see, back in the olden days of Exodus, Israel was stuck in Egypt as slaves. Pharaoh said they had to make bricks for him. Then he got mad because Moses and Aaron (well, God really) asked him to let the Israelites go. So he said, make bricks, same as before, but get your own dang straw. Oh and hell no you’re not leaving. (loosely paraphrased by me) How in the world could they be expected to make the same amount of bricks as when Pharaoh was supplying the straw if they had to get their own straw?? (If you’d like to read the actual version, Exodus 5 is where its found. And I’d recommend reading it…I may have left some stuff out). And what did Moses and the Israelites do? Whine. Whine. Whine.
So, yeah, on the very night that Husband and I are like, no way are we doing this adoption business. Too much work. Too much money. Too much time. Too much hassle. No fair. We want the easy route. Funny that I think pregnancy would be the “easy” route…seeing as it would have been the most painful thing I would have ever had to do. Crazy how easy it is to convince ourselves that the other side of the grass is greener.
Well anyways, I read Exodus 5 that night and realized that maybe, just maybe, God is asking us to make bricks without straw. Seems impossible. And we’re not real happy about it.
A couple days later I had another grand revelation. Here it is with the setup first, because that’s how I roll and this is my blog. We have been looking at our finances. We’ve been looking at how will we move if God wants us to adopt a little boy. And looking at the two of those, there is no way in the next like 10 years that we can adopt. Impossible. Literally. The money just isn’t there. We cannot afford to move, especially since we have a 2nd mortgage to pay off, a different car to buy (3 carseats just won’t fit in a Jetta), a truck we can’t sell, a down payment on a new house to save, and an adoption to pay for. We’ve been thinking about it anyways hoping we can find the steal of a lifetime and so we went driving around looking at houses and land. It was a nice drive, except in the back of our minds we are getting more and more depressed because we realize that it just isn’t an option. There is literally no way we could make it all work. And then the revelation came.
Only when things seem impossible is there room for God to do really big God-sized things. If there is any human way to work it, then we get the glory. When things seem impossible He gets the glory. This is where faith grows. Only when the rubber meets the road are we able to see if we really believe what we say we believe.
Bricks without straw. A third child without a third pregnancy.
No idea how the story ends. Faith that the story God writes for my life is better than the story I would write for myself (per Steve Mizel, Trailhead Church).