In Case You Missed It

I have a lot of words.


Shocking, right?

Well, that is all.

I just wanted to prove to myself that I could write a short post.

I feel like I just accomplished a major feat.


Since U Been Gone

Ok, so that has nothing to do with this post.  But that song just keeps running through my head.  Pitch Perfect, anybody?  And now you’re singing it, aren’t you?  You’re welcome.

So, I got a job.  A very part-time job.  I set my own hours.  Accounting and office stuff.  And I sleep with the boss.  This is either going to be the best job ever or we’re going to hate each other.  Wish us luck.

We actually incorporated which is just business speak for more paperwork and more numbers and new accounts.  Just the reason to need more office work and more to do to keep the paper side of the business running smoothly.  Enter nerdy wife.  And I get a REAL paycheck!  I write it myself.  ha  Every woman’s dream, right?  Well, I do have to actually log my hours and answer to my husband so I’ll let you weigh out the pros and cons.  For right now I’m super excited.

I actually really love paperwork and accounting and bookkeeping and excel.  You know why?  None of those things can talk back to me or spit food on me or destroy my house or scream in my face.  However, they also don’t run up to me first thing in the morning and yell, “SURPRISE!  I LOVE YOU!”.  You know you gotta love the emotions of my 5-year old strong-willed child.  When she feels emotions they’re strong and when it’s love directed at you…it’s just the best feeling.  It is not so much the best feeling when she’s angry, yelling, and stomping her feet at you.  I’m telling you, she feels every emotion STRONGLY.  End rabbit trail.

I’m a working girl.  I realize that I’m a mom and I work and I’m productive every single day raising two small children, keeping 2 dogs alive, and keeping up with my husband’s insane schedule.  But I really do like being productive at something that I’m actually good at, something that I actually have a degree in, and something that makes me feel like I know just a little bit and that I might know what I’m doing.

And in case you just met me, like 5 seconds ago, because I don’t hide this at all,  I pretty much have no clue what I’m doing in this whole motherhood deal.  I have a lot of opinions, sure, but I have a lot of doubts and a lot of moments of winging it.  Yes, for a type A, excel, budget-loving girl, I wing it A LOT in motherhood.  A LOT.  Shocking for a planner like me.

Not sure at all how I ended up here.  Lots of little rabbits in this post.  It’s like a puzzle for you to figure out.  See, a gift.  I gave you a puzzle.

To sum up, I got a part-time job.  I am now officially employed by Stuehlmeyer Building & Renovation Company.  We sat down and decided that we would pick the business name with the most letters.  And I think we succeeded.  Enter rabbit: in case you didn’t know…my husband is amazing.  He can quite literally fix everything, build anything, and make the existing better.  He does great work.  He recycles almost every material that he can.  He’s trust-worthy.  If you need something fixed, built, or improved, he’s your guy.  We’re in the process of switching over our website and branding, but for now you can visit us at .  End sales pitch.

And I don’t know what I’m doing in motherhood.

That pretty much sums it all up.


What is your favorite color?  ha  That’s just a rabbit to see if you’re actually reading all these words.


I Did It

I stayed off facebook for 30 days and then some.  Although I will confess I had to log in one time to get an address from my messages.  But, I did not look at anything else…not even my notifications.  Sometimes my will power is quite superior.  Although most days it is not.  That’s why I had ice cream last night at 9:30 pm (but with the time change it was really only 8:30 pm, and either way I still don’t feel a bit bad about it).

I learned a few things.

I really don’t NEED facebook.  I was pretty happy without it.

I’m going to scale down my newsfeed list drastically.  Is it even still called that anymore?  Oh goodness, I may be so far behind I might not ever catch up.  Well, whatever it’s now called…if I don’t have an actual relationship with someone, or enough of one in the past, that I would actually call, text, or go to coffee with them then I don’t need them on my feed list.

I missed the invited and updates.

I LOVED not having facebook on my phone.  My phone became so much less important and I definitely paid more attention to the girls, or whoever I was with.

However, I’m still me and I did still find plenty of other distractions.  Whoops.

I don’t miss the drama and timesuck.

If facebook wasn’t such a big part of our culture and connecting with people and setting up meetings and events I would totally quit it forever.

However, I’m a type A extrovert and I CANNOT miss out on things.  That would be ridiculous and irresponsible of me.

So, I will be rejoining the facebook world on a reduced level.

Welcome back, facebook world!


What would you most miss about facebook?


Random Ponderings of a Tired Girl

So, I’m pretty tired from last week.  More to come on that later.

For now, this is all I got…

I cannot for the life of me figure out how in the freaking world I made it through two, not one, but two, c-sections without passing out once.

And yet, when I went to the doctor and had an ear flush I passed right out, hit my head on the way down, and ended up in the ER via an ambulance ride.

Moral to the story: 1) sometimes things just don’t make sense and 2) don’t get an ear flush.

Just Another Store…and Other Unrelated Things

Today was eventful.  Here’s a recap.  Not sure I can handle any more than a brief recap.

I loved Ikea.  I love the stuff I bought.  At the end of the day, it’s just another store.  And I now have more stuff.

I watched a BMW drive by and thought of the wise words of Husband.  It’s just a hunk of metal, plastic, and other parts…just like all the cars.  Since when did a name make it more cool.  I think God must look at us like we’re a bunch of crazies chasing after metal and plastic and stuff just cuz it’s painted certain colors with certain letters on it.  Lame.

A crazy creeper came to the fountain where Hannah & I were sitting and spread out random business cards along the rocks.  Then they blew away.  People are weird.

I have a strong-willed child.  I am a strong-willed child myself when she throws fits and I can’t force her into submission.  I then usually throw a fit myself because she won’t obey me.  I am not a great example of how to restrain your emotions.  Ugh.

I often respond out of ANTICIPATION of others’ judgement of me.

I don’t sleep.  Well, not well anyways.  Sucks that I have a sleep disorder.  I finally am starting to accept that I probably will never sleep well and that 8 hours of continuous pain-free sleep is a myth for me.  😦  😦  (That’s a double sad face in bold because I’m really sad.)

I have an ugly sinful heart and my God loves me all-the-time-no-matter-what.  And that’s what I tell my Banana, “I-love-you-all-the-time-no-matter-what.”

How do I live in that place instead of in the place of anticipation of others judgement?  Does anyone’s judgement of me matter?  ha  I am not judged a sinner condemned to hell by the God of the universe because the gospel and blood of Jesus covers my sinful ugly heart.  So, why the the hell would anyone else’s judgement mean a damn thing to me if it can’t, in fact, damn me to hell?  And you know, all I can think as I type those words is fear of people’s judgement of that sentence.  Ridiculous.  Jesus, change my heart, because, you, God of the universe, already love me “all-the-time-no-matter-what”.


Do you fear judgement from others?


Fireworks of a Different Sort

So…yesterday was my birthday.  I’m sorry if you missed it.  31 is kind of a big deal, you know.   I must tell you that every stinking time I say I’m 31 I think of the stupid bags and it’s kind of annoying.  I’m hoping this wears off, otherwise 32 can’t come fast enough.  (Not that I think the bags are bad, I would just prefer not to think of them literally every time I think of my age.)  Ugh.

Moving on…

We had a lovely dinner at Cracker Barrel, it’s my favorite, and yes, I’m basically 60 on the inside.   Then, we had some amazing Dairy Mart, which I highly recommend if you’re ever in Salem, IL.  The lemon will rock your face off.  I had a heath volcano, which was delish, but still, try the LEMON.

Moving on…again…

We packed up and began our caravan back to our house.  I saw some fireworks off in the distance and tried to point them out to Hannah.  Of course then they were blocked by trees and corn and she couldn’t see them.  Tears and sadness followed.  She really was disappointed that I got to see fireworks (all 3 of them) and she didn’t.  Well, wouldn’t you know it, suddenly there are flashing lights behind us.  Hannah is getting very excited.  Pink and blue fireworks behind us!  Woohoo!!  Except only one of us was woohoo-ing, the other one of us was busily trying to explain that they were not fireworks.

I’m getting pulled over.   Awesome.

She keeps getting more and more excited and I couldn’t help but laugh at the situation.  So, by the time the police officer made it to my window, the first thing out my mouth is, while softly laughing, “I gotta tell you, sir, my daughter is pretty excited right now because she thinks there are fireworks behind us.!”   Anyways, he asks if I knew that my tail light is out and so I told him I had no idea.  He told me that’s why he pulled me over and I respond with, “oh, ok, I wasn’t really sure because I didn’t think I was speeding”.  Maybe not the best response, but he seemed pretty chill.  Of course, I couldn’t find my insurance card, so he just took my drivers license while I did a mad search for my card, which I never did find.  Oops, probably should find that.

So, he comes back, I tell him straight up that I can’t find my card, but at this point Chad has pulled over too.  So, after he asks if the truck is with me and I explain that it is my husband, I offer to get him Chad’s ins card.  Again, maybe not the greatest response.  And of course my car is loaded down with all kinds of stuff so he asks where we’re headed.

This is where I have a brilliant idea.  Not that there’s any indication of a ticket, but better to be safe than sorry, right?  I tell him that “today’s my birthday and we were celebrating with my family and now we’re headed back to our house in Glen Carbon.”  He says, “you’ve got a lot of stuff.”  “Yes, I have a 2 year old and 4 year old and they come with a lot of stuff.”  Luckily he tells me he has an 8 year old and 6 year old so he can understand that.  He gives me back my license and suggests Chad follow me so that I don’t get pulled over again and so that we get home before the storm hits.  Hannah is still excited about the fireworks behind us and keeps talking about the pink & blue flashing lights.  Leah just covers her eyes and hides.

I think the best present I got all day was that nice policeman not giving me a ticket.  And now, I should probably have Chad fix that taillight…


What is your funniest police encounter?


Officially in my 30s

Well, I turn 31 today.   Big day, I know.  I must admit though that so far I much prefer my 30s to my 20s.  I feel a little more settled, a little more comfortable with myself, and life just seems a little more stable.  Although as I type that I get this sinking feeling that stable is a joke and things might not stay that way.  ha  I’m going to just brush that off and move on like things are going to be nice and smooth and quiet for the unforeseeable future.

So, what I’m trying to say is that I’m 31.  I’ll take that deal and I won’t even cry about it.  I’ve got big things planned this year, you know.  Horseback riding lessons, learn to make soap, start sewing again this fall, send my oldest off to preschool, learn to stay within budget, another Redemption Group, healthier eating, more natural living, enjoy people more (and value tasks less), and I’m sure God has some stuff for me this year as well…more tearing away the old crappy me and hopefully giving me more of His goodness (and I’m sure those around me are asking Him to give me more of his patience and gentleness.  ha).

Anyways, its gonna be a good day.  Meals with family and celebrating me.  ha  That makes me wanna throw up a bit to type that.  A bit awkward to be the center of attention and who doesn’t feel more than a little strange to be the only one not singing the “Happy Birthday Song”?  Well, I do for sure.  But, don’t you worry, I’ll suffer through the song in order to get to the cake part.

I hope you find a way to celebrate yourself today.  Go ahead and do the awkward thing and sing Happy Birthday to yourself.  I know I will.


What was your favorite birthday?